In this light the divine calls to me in textured bark vibrant brown and gold, blue sky and crunchy steps, filling my heart with joy and gratitude then having only one desire- the wish that I had man parts when nature called.
Before I see colors or patterns, my minds eye sees texture when I meditate. It’s as if my focusing mechanism works when I’m fully present- and not before! And although my sight might not be fully up and running, my heart can still feel the intense love of my guides and guardians. It’s in that love that I relax, only to focus more, then relax, then focus.
I’m trying to make changes to my life that will enable me to be more prosperous so that I have the freedom to enjoy more time with the grandkids and travel. In that state of actively creating change, I notice that my focus seems to pulsate in and out, much like it does in my meditation practice. But unlike my meditation practice with it’s cool patterns and messages, my change state doesn’t always leave me feeling warm and fuzzy.
Why is that? Why don’t I feel loved and supported when I’m trying to create a strategy for the future?
When I reach outside of myself using my fear as fuel for change, I have nothing but that fear. So what I do is bring myself back, just like I do in meditation. I can think and plan and dream and desire but then I come back, and take a breath, and know that it’s in the present moment that I create. It’s in the present moment that I realize that I don’t need to think a whole lot about the future because it’s in the warm texture of love in the present moment that I want to live.