bird song and water, gently flowing over muddied rocks rich with the scent of decaying leaves. peace from ease of a gentle breeze and me, alone with just my thoughts, content. clouds moving to full sun.
I’ve come to realize that being present really isn’t enough. That when I show and fully participate in life I appreciate all that is but that moment does not propel me forward. I do not take the next step. Silence is beautiful but it does not move me.
This year is going to be my THIS year. I am to show up fully and give my life some feedback, an acknowledgement. I am going to observe the sacred moment and mark it by saying THIS.
THIS is who I am. THIS is why I am here. THIS is what I want.
Not just my thoughts, as leaves at the mercy of wind and rain or snow, who tumble and lift and twist but will not release from my branch. Sometimes bright green or vibrant or not at all.
Not just my desires as branches solid yet pliable and willing, lifting and sagging, bending with that wind and that rain. Sometimes breaking in dispare from a storm or the weight of snow.
Not just my body as a trunk, the years adding in rings, the bark hardening and becoming brittle. Sometimes eaten or pecked at devoured or decayed.
Not just my heart as roots wound and thick, outstretched, breaking the hardened soil and grounding me to the earth. Sometimes cut or pruned from negativity, making them turn and curl like toes grasping for the moment.
No. I am the tree, solid and tall, whole in all seasons and all weather.
My brow of sweat like children on a playground. Full and loud. Only warm water to drink yet joy fills my heart as I witness another, wings full, colorful and light.
In clear moments we see that we have a choice. That we don’t have to just let life choose for us.
We then realize that up to that moment of clarity, we were never ready for a new relationship because we had to trust ourselves, believe in ourselves, know that we could succeed on our own. We needed to know that we were all that we needed before we could depend on someone else.
Only then. Only then will we be ready for an equal relationship, that is based not only on the security of being a dependent, but also on the equality of being independent.