The Texture of Love

Before I see colors or patterns, my minds eye sees texture when I meditate. It’s as if my focusing mechanism works when I’m fully present- and not before! And although my sight might not be fully up and running, my heart can still feel the intense love of my guides and guardians. It’s in that love that I relax, only to focus more, then relax, then focus.

I’m trying to make changes to my life that will enable me to be more prosperous so that I have the freedom to enjoy more time with the grandkids and travel. In that state of actively creating change, I notice that my focus seems to pulsate in and out, much like it does in my meditation practice. But unlike my meditation practice with it’s cool patterns and messages, my change state doesn’t always leave me feeling warm and fuzzy.

Why is that? Why don’t I feel loved and supported when I’m trying to create a strategy for the future?

When I reach outside of myself using my fear as fuel for change, I have nothing but that fear. So what I do is bring myself back, just like I do in meditation. I can think and plan and dream and desire but then I come back, and take a breath, and know that it’s in the present moment that I create. It’s in the present moment that I realize that I don’t need to think a whole lot about the future because it’s in the warm texture of love in the present moment that I want to live.

My passions are the outdoors, adventure, family and food. Wrap that all up in a deep longing to find meaning and purpose in life. I’ve done fire walks, a sweat lodge, gone on really out there retreats, spent countless hours hiking, had a successful massage career, and lots and lots of meditation. I’m the person at the party who mostly observes until they feel like jumping in and then, well, look out cause Seinfeld has nothing on me.

I hope you enjoy my ramblings. Join me for adventures of the heart and soul. Together we might be able to navigate this crazy thing we call life.