“From her heart grows a tree” whose bark has peeled and chipped, now leaving exposed wood growing moss and green creatures fertile with new life to pass. She is solid below the surface, and confident the new chapter will take root.
Thank you Melanie. See her post here. I hope I did this right! 🙂
Their love spanned decades and is still going even now as they near the end. Even now when they are no longer able to speak to each other. Hold each other. Smell the scent of each others breath. Even now when they each lie in separate beds being tended to by strangers whose compassion is not able to save them from their final breaths. Even now when their end is near.
To Jan and Jim whose eyes, smiles and hearts touched me so deeply. I miss you. I love you. Until we meet again.
She waits for him to come and take her away, to pull her out roots and all, from the only place she’s known. To remove the memories, the familiar places she still visits, because she can’t. She can’t remove them.
She waits for his new love to heal her. To open her and bring her to where she knows she should be. To complete the accent.
She waits for him to join her in the work. The light. The love. The help meant to raise vibrations and lift hearts.
Snow holding long blue shadows from trees too numb to notice their bark hardened by experiences. They are grouped in families, standing alone or just now emerging but all share this moment as light fills one side and casts darkness onto another.
I’ve been stalking myself for about a year.
It all started when I asked the universe for someone that had the same expression of love as I do. When I asked I set into motion a journey that was quite surprising. Asking for someone like you would naturally mean that you know who you are. I didn’t expect to learn much about myself because, after all, I’m 60 years old and have had many experiences including some profound mystical ones. Really, what could I possibly not know about myself right?
Slowly the layers began to peel. As time passed, I saw glimpses of the real me, buried deep amongst layers of the mundane and I realized that in some ways I’ve been numb.
Deep, deep stuff came up. Even the stuff that I already worked on. Even the stuff that I thought was over, done. Jeez.
But I forged ahead keeping my head up and my outlook positive because I really want to step into the next chapter of my life, and I think I now have. I have, at least, acknowledged the shift in seasons and have embraced the new growth of spring and the melting of the snow, and the warmth of the sun that removes the numbness of my mind.
Spring will soon be here and I’m looking forward to my long blue shadow replaced with a golden light on pale green saplings and mud. And I’m most looking forward to the possibility of my mate, the one with the same expression, to come into my life.
I sit gazing through the window pane that separates me from the outdoors, the world. Hard glass, strong and clear filling me with clarity and devotion. Outside the world turns in a hectic rhythm.
When will my words fall upon thee?
Watching the sun set on the twinkling leaves, fluttering like wings of a sparrow. Winter wind blowing, puffing, twinkling, blowing. Darkness falls as I sit.
Blessed phone when will you ring?
Patience begins to wear thin on the small twigs that hold my leaves. But I will be strong! Hold tightly small twigs, to the fluttering desires that are my leaves. The desires that flutter as wings within my heart. Let not the wind blow these for they are my mission. And I will stand so full of life. My bark facing the winter chill. Hold will I to these precious leaves that bear witness of love.
For the cold winter’s bellow shall not take them from me today.
The darkness of my fear and confusion overshadowing me, filling me with loss and defeat. Hopelessly I weep, crumpled to the floor calling out to whomever will bother to listen to my sad story, my confusion. Calling to you to help me.
Make me aware of your presence as you enter my room. Silky, warm glimmer of white and gold a speck, but then growing, expanding, to a beam, making me lift my gaze just a bit.
Make me aware of your presence as you move closer to me. Feeling the warmth of your body as it nears mine. Your strength, your determination, your focus, making me breathe just a little deeper and begin to lift my head as I realize now that I am not alone. I am not abandoned. There is hope.
Make me aware of your presence as you gently touch my shoulder and place your hand on my back. You are so close now. I can feel your breath. It makes me want to breathe. It makes me want to be here. To see what I need to see. To dive deep into my fears so that I can cast them away.
Make me aware of your presence as you reach under my knees and lift me. Your exhale strong and quick, your power melting me into your arms, I feel my body rise from the depths of my own hell. My muck. My mud of self-imposed torture.
Make me aware of your presence as you take your first stride. Your rhythm and harmony rocking me to a quiet, peaceful moment as we move from my darkness. The room fills with light, my thoughts much clearer now. My heart swelling with love as I feel your grace fall upon me.
Make me aware of your presence as we exit the room. Your body melting away as I begin to stand on my own. Your essence still with me as sparkles in my heart. Each one reminding me of the love and strength that I felt. Each one reminding me of the truth. There is no room. There is only Love.